gloomy December

Dear Journal

I am really sorry by ignoring you for a long time then crawling back to you with somewhat sad story. I am feeling completely miserable right now. Well, I convince you that I am not getting used to tell such a scathing story for I am not a whinny girl and I assure you believe I am not such a person.  However, I just found something have made me, myself, completely miserable. 

I have ever posted on my twitter page, that social media may spoil all fun. yes it was and yes it is, maybe it will as well! I am not gonna take back my word. It was not because me, myself, always see bad at people. No!! with or without prejudice, I can convince you journal that it, social media, can spoil all my merry time. 

Well, I have told you that this is not my habit to tell about my personal life. but I don't know I just feel hung up, I just feel I must share, with you, of course, journal. 

Okay. let get started. on the beginning of December, I wished that I could get plenty good news. It turned out that the news were partly good, partly bad. however I'm not gonna tell you journal which were good for I took them for granted after all and because this page was entitled as gloomy December and I don't want to spoil it. As a matter of fact, there were several bad news I can tell you journal, but only what had happened today that I will tell you about. 

Starting from this morning, well the half-day went well, neither surprising nor shocking moment had happened. until an hour ago, I found a completely bad, horrible, and terrible news. then I found myself nearly blubbering (well, basically it did not really happen) but I did feel so sad and completely mess. 

How do you feel when you give and you give and you give but no one care? well, basically it depends on what you have given (I, myself, even do not care). But how do you feel when you wait and you wait and you wait but no one notice you?  then how do you feel when you count on and you count on and you count on someone but you don"t get any return? those are what we call pathetic, aren't those?

as a matter of fact, these are what have already happened to me. 

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I'm sorry journal for not arriving at the point. Half a minute!! I was thinking while I wrote, then it hit me. I suppose it's not the good thing to tell you about everything. Thousands apology, I presume I can't do it. Let me keep those on my own. 

I think I can get through these by myself, I can occupy myself with everything more useful in order to get over them. exactly, being happy is as easy as ABC. Now, I can live my own life.

I have never let those things ruin my last-year-trip. Thanks Journal, I'll come back later (with a joyful news by all means)